


cause really you're my dearest friend

by rosesandcinnamon



Series: Girls Love Girls [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, Modern AU, fbal, first I love you, historia thats wrong, historia thinking ymir doesnt love her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1749155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/rosesandcinnamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Historia loves Ymir like nothing else, and she'd rather keep her mouth shut than lose her.<br/>Funny thing is, Ymir is the same way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cause really you're my dearest friend

**Author's Note:**

> [Jenny cover by Lilly Sevin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGAVBFiOmsE) I also highly recommend the original by Studio Killers! It's a lot happier.

“Bye, Ymir!”

“Bye, Historia.”

Ymir hugged her and ran down the front steps, heading towards her mom’s car. Historia stood in the doorway to make sure she got in, and with a wave, shut the door, turning away and practically throwing herself down on the floor.

She laid there in the entryway, face pressed to the cool tiles, until Reiner came along, gently stepping on her.

“Are you being a gay baby? Come on, Historia, I thought you were better than that.”

She “nnnn”’d in response, and he sighed at her.

“Get up, nerd. We’re gonna get something to eat and you’re gonna tell me why you’re being so annoying.”

She rolled over, staring at him, and rolling his eyes, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to a sitting position. From there, Historia got up herself, glaring at him the entire time.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Reiner.”

He ignored that, dragging her into the kitchen.

“I’m serious! Stop it. Nothing’s gonna happen between us, I don’t want to mess anything up, you can stop bothering me.”

Reiner dropped her hand, turning around and looking at her.

“If you meant that, you wouldn’t be lying on the floor right after she leaves. You’re obviously not gonna talk to _her_ about anything, so why not talk to me?”

She dropped her gaze to the floor, and her voice was small.

“Cause if I don’t talk about it, maybe… Maybe it’ll go away and I can see her as my best friend and only my best friend. Maybe I can get over myself and find someone else. Maybe I can stop hating myself for wanting more out of something that’s already perfect.”

Reiner sighed heavily, putting an arm around her and going into the kitchen, making her sit down.

“Why are both my sisters gay babies?”

Historia laughed at that, and even though she couldn’t see him, he smiled.

Grabbing snacks, he carried them back to her at the counter and speaking softly.

“You don’t see the way she looks at you, Historia.”

She stared at him silently.

\--

Ymir sat with her brother and everyone else- Reiner, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Annie, and Historia, playing Mario Kart in the living room. Without enough controllers, they were playing in fours, Ymir, Eren, Mikasa, and Reiner playing against each other.

“Fuck you bitches, I’m gonna _win_ \- What? You asshole!”

At that, Mikasa smirked, not bothering to respond to Ymir. Lap three began, and Historia was too busy watching Ymir to notice.

She was looking at how intent her gaze was on the screen, long fingers wrapped around the controller, the usual smile, genuine or not, gone from her face.

Historia blinked, snapping her attention away, blush rising on her face.

\--

Later that night, Ymir was thinking.

They were sixteen, and Ymir had given up hope on Historia ever loving her “in that way”.

She convinced herself to be fine with what they had, and it wasn’t like Ymir didn’t _love_ what they had, but she just wanted…

She didn’t let herself dwell on it. That was the point. Historia was her best friend, had always been her best friend, and that was how it was going to be.

So when Historia invited her over to spend the night as usual, she honestly didn’t think anything special was going to happen.

They sat in her window seat, east sky already dark, and Ymir was playing a game on her phone, Historia reading a magazine. Her legs lay on top of Ymir’s, pages flipping and taps and music from the radio soft in the silence.

Being with Historia was as natural as blinking, easy as breathing.

Ymir didn’t even notice when Historia set her magazine down and turned her head to stare out the window, concentrated on the endlessly frustrating game she played too often.

Historia’s voice was small.

“I love you.”

Ymir looked up for a second, smiling.

“I love you too, Historia.”

She paused, looking back up at her.

Historia’s face was pale, scared, and Ymir’s head spun.

Was this…

 _Not_ a platonic “I love you”?

“No, Ymir, I mean I actually- I love you. Romantically. Not… Not as a friend.”

It wasn’t.

She immediately set her phone aside, sitting up, gently reaching for Historia’s hand.

“You… you’re for real right now?”

She nodded, throat closing up, Ymir _loathing_ the fear in her eyes.

“Historia, please don’t- don’t be afraid, I love you, I’ve always loved you, oh my fucking god, I thought you’d never-“

Historia burst into tears, and Ymir moved closer, tightening her hold on her hand and watching with wide eyes, unsure as to why she was crying.

It wasn’t the first time she had cried in front of her, far from it, but it was just so surprising.

She pulled Historia into her, unable to come up with anything else to do, holding her.

She was saying something through her tears, and Ymir brushed her beautiful blonde hair aside to try and hear it, laughing in delight when she realized.

Historia was whispering her name, over and over, nuzzling into the fabric of her shirt.

Ymir closed her eyes, turning to set the side of her face on Historia’s head, so happy it felt like her chest was going to burst.


End file.
